It's getting darker by the minute, and i'm all out of matches..

Even though you might not think it, I still believe very deeply in God.  I may not go to church, and I may not read my Bible every day of the week, but I still believe.  My beliefs are a bit more different than the typical Christian, I will admit, but I still have faith in aspects of Christianity.  For example, do I think it's the end of the world?  Maybe.  But we've been walking the line of "maybe" for 100's of years.  Apocalyptic theory is nothing new; people have been espousing The End for years.  Especially around the turn of centuries.  It's as if the advent of a new set of 100 years gets people into dwelling on all the negative things in life.  You turn on the news, and what do you see?  Bad news.  Sure, there is some positive stories thrown in the mix to keep you from abandoning all hope for this race, but it's always the same.  What most people don't realize is, if the news was full of good things, no one would really want to watch it.  Human beings are inherently wicked; the temptation to do "bad" things is an unavoidable fact of life, even for the most devout, holy, and upstanding citizens in societies the world over.

Thus, the stories that interest us all online or on TV, in the newspapers, magazines, Hell, even word of mouth are nine times out of ten negative, related to something negative, or could possibly become something with negative circumstances.  I personally think that the news, these days especially, should start searching out the awesome, non-scandalous stories of human hope, perseverance, and accomplishments instead of giving press time to mothers that kill their children and get away with it, stars that get away with pedophilia, only to have their illegal actions swept under the rug just because their fans give them unconditional love and support and defend them regardless of the accusations they face.  News should be about things going on in your community, local or nationwide, good and bad, but it should really focus more on the good than the bad because I believe that when all these horrible stories you read about today get air time it gives people ideas about how to handle things in their own lives, and then it spreads outward amongst us all in pandemic proportions.

Example:  during the 90's you never really heard too much about murder-suicides involving entire families.  Sure, instances of it happened along with all kinds of other evil shit, but these days you cant go an entire week without hearing something about someone offing their whole clan over everything from money problems to picking out the wrong kind of peanut butter at the grocery.  Now you can attribute that to the major increase in media outlets as well as the rise of availability of technologies that 10 years ago, most people would not have had access to.  10 years ago, I didn't have a cell phone.  I had a pager.  These days, kids as young as 7 (if not younger) have cellular devices, or access to, that provide all forms of media out there.  Almost all information is at your fingertips, you just have to google what you want to know now.

And stuff like that, murder-suicides, rampant theft, rape, abuse; it's always been around.  It's not going to go away either.

But is all that because people don't believe in God (or any other kind of deity that might be member to a different faith) anymore?  I don't think so.  You look at any other society out there that has a totally different belief structure or religions, you'll have the same things, good or bad.  Sometimes even worse than others.  .  We are all humans, from Ohio to Iraq. We are all people of this planet, though we might have different ways of looking at things.

When I was younger, and still went to church on a regular basis, I used to attend youth group at a church that was located across from my old high school.  We were having a "discussion" (roughly translated to the youth pastor and the top ass kissers telling us what we should believe) about the various religions in the world and how all of them were wrong, and every single person that subscribed to them were going to go to Hell.  As the inquisitive person that I am, I was full of questions and had a few scenarios in my head that I was curious about.  I asked out loud what if someone never ever had the opportunity to learn about Christianity, how could they be included in with all those people that would go to Hell?  I said that was like being arrested and thrown in jail for a crime you never had or could not commit.  I was told simply that everyone on this planet has an opportunity to learn about God and Christ, and that you had to seize that moment when it happens and accept God into your heart and mind.  That was it.  That was all I got answered.  I then asked about the indigenous people in places that are hard to get to, that have never seen another human being outside of their tribe or community.  What about them?  What about a newborn baby that is born to an Islamic family only to pass on suddenly in the middle of the night?   I said it seemed unfair to me that they would be grouped in as well.  I was told that that was their problem and that if an infant dies to an unsaved family, they're parents beliefs and faiths would ultimately dictate where thay would be spending eternity , and then the youth pastor wanted to get some one on one time with me about these questions I was asking.  I went outside the building and talked to the guy (his name was Dave, I think).  Well, talking is an understatement.  I was lectured about how these questions I have are dangerous and almost bordered on heresy.

What?  I wasn't aware asking questions about other people's beliefs was heresy.  I just had some things I was concerned about, and I wanted a straight answer.  I was told that I shouldn't ask stuff like that because it would plant seeds of disbelief in some of the other kids or something like that.  I just couldn't believe that the God I had been taught about for years would condemn people because they never had a chance to learn about Him.  We had been taught our God was a god of peace and love, but if you were born somewhere else whose culture didn't promote that faith, you were nothing.  You were less than trash.  I argued this point, and all I got was an exasperated shrug and a promise that I would be prayed for.  I think it wasn't too long after that my family left the church due to some shady business regarding my stepmom and some kind of position within or whatever.  It was funny because I ran into Dave (?) at Kroger's not too long after I graduated, and he didn't seem too happy to see me.  I asked how he was doing, he said fine, and that was it.  I got a rather curt ":Excuse me," and he was on his way.  I never saw him again.  I didn't realize until later on in life that was probably a good thing.  My experience at that church has galvanized in me a want to stay away from churches like that.  Now, I know that not all church's are the same, and that there is a lot of good ones out there (my moms for example), but I really have no desire to start going to one regularly anymore.  I know how to read , I have a bible, and I understand the teachings in it.

I personally believe that you should be able to worship in any kind of faith you wish.  I don't care if you worship Allah, Buddha, Jesus, the Pillsbury Dough Boy; if you're cool to me I'll be cool with you.  If you're not, then i'm not. If you look at the tenets and cornerstones of all the various religions, they all inherently say the same things : don't steal stuff, don't kill anyone if you can help it (self defense), don't cheat on your old lady, don't be greedy, be good to everyone, etc.  You get the point.  But were all human, and to be a human, you cannot be perfect in all aspects of life.  People, no matter how "good" they are, are weak to temptation, and are often going to do these things regardless of consequence.  You might be a huge philanthropist, giving away millions a year to various kinds of charities, orphanages, and the whatnot, but that doesn't change the fact that you might have 2 or 3 mistresses (or misters lol) on the side.  Or as I alluded to earlier, a worldwide pop star whose sold millions of albums and touched millions of people with their music who has pedo tendencies.  When you have support like that, your sins can be overlooked, and they often do.  When your sway over the media is so huge that when the facts of your misdoings are revealed for the whole world to see, they are pushed aside and considered irrelevant compared to the amount of good you may have done presently or in the past by your support base.  Those types of people are the most dangerous to me, because it proves that a human being will go to such lengths for recognition and fame, they will also go to greater lengths to keep their image untarnished by all the bad and evil they are up to, no matter how much you sugarcoat it.

But, after chatting with someone yesterday in this same vein, I come to realize more and more that the media these days has become a double-edged sword;  it gives opportunities for good as well as bad, but the capacity for doing and harboring evil is huge now, and it might be so much so that there is no way to turn it around.  And really the only one running the corrupt machine of media is who holds the most money, and sadly, that's the way it's going for a lot of other things as well.